Gifted Pets - Grape the Guppy

So, last Easter my mother decided to gift our child with a fish & a bowl of cute rocks. Against my wishes. I've done similar to friends only with hamsters & hamster balls. I feel this is my karma. I'll take a fish over a rodent.

So it's a guppy to be exact, one who likes to crap & make me clean it's bowl every week. I never knew fish were so much work. So much work for such little reward! Personally I'm a dog person I feel they're useful & serve purpose. Our Lab is by far the best guard dog ever. So I don't mind cleaning his crap off our lawn. 

This Christmas we went out of town for about 3 weeks. There was no way in hell I was going to bring Grape the Guppy along for the ride. So being the evil mean fish hating mommy I am, I tossed in a teaspoon of food flakes & said my goodbyes. Hoping to return to him floating along the surface. Fast forward 16 days later we return home to a very energetic and very much alive Grape. CRAP.

I've tried everything in my power to kill this thing off. I CANNOT be the first mom to do this. From using Dawn detergent to wash the rocks, to putting luke warm water in his bowl. This poop machine fish is still swimming away. 

 Every day my son runs up to his bowl on the counter, squealing at him in excitement then moves on to his toys & our dog for the remainder of the day. This fish plays with my emotions I feel. In those few minutes of my child squealing he is floating on his side starring at me, as if to say "not today momma!" (slowly being convinced it's an inner ear problem) Then he flips back upright, and swims around the bowl like a trout on meth. 

 So here I am tonight cleaning his bowl & hoping to see a floating purple fish in the morning. But knowing deep down I'll forever have to have a fish in this bowl because my child loves it so much. 

xo

OPM

Motherhood

I managed to keep quiet about the unfortunate  devastating event in town. I am glad someone who has the outlet to reach the public is finally saying something. So thank you Pete from 93.3.

https://www.facebook.com/country933/posts/10153109714812929

The amount of racism, judgement & just plain ignorance on every single thread about this family's  situation is unreal!

If people harnessed & directed that negativity toward the slum lords of these buildings, who do little to nothing about the infestations there very may well have been 2 sweet little lives saved last week. 

I know personally, as a mother, every day I try to do what is the best for our family. Looking for healthier meal options, trying to get outside for fresh air every day or looking for the latest all natural way to clean the floors! Moms are always second guessing themselves. Wondering if what they are doing is the right thing or if there could have been another, better way to go about it. Knowing this, I know that mother is experiencing an extreme amount of guilt. She did what she felt was best for her children & her family. I pray she is offered help with coping with whatever feelings she may have & have time to grieve & move on with as a normal of a life as expected. So that she can get back to being a healthy, wonderful, strong, caring loving mother to her surviving children. 

So for every negative comment & post that she has seen, I would like for her to know this. Every mother in this community is grieving with you momma, we are here for you. 

xo

OPM

* Follow this link if ou wish to help by donating to the family via goFund me.

http://www.gofundme.com/n4jrb8

Confidence in a cotton Christmas nightgown

With valentines passing & everyone's husband & boyfriend already receiving their intimate photo gifts, a few of my friends have posted their boudoir photos online. But not without 106 comments on very album saying "this should not be on Facebook!" or "what does your man say about this being online?" Come on. Seriously. Let the woman have her moment & scroll on by with that negativity. 

Personally, I think it's empowering & a confidence booster that we as women need from time to time. Who doesn't want to feel sexy. However, I'm not sure if I would have the balls to post my derrière online - it is just not in my personal comfort zone. Kudos to those of you who do! 

(Here are some cutesy poses!)

I don't know about everyone else but my bedroom fashion style has taken a huge plunge from lasenza & fredericks cute little numbers. Too now, whatever mix matched set of capri & tank or Garfield Christmas nightie I haul out of the closet. When most girls wear a messy bun, baggy shirt & sweat pants they come across as cute. When I do, I look like I've tried every drug in the world. 

I think it is a great little pick me up that new moms (& dads) would enjoy. Go shopping for some cute outfits, get your hair & makeup done. Sip some champy, and pretend you're a supermodel rolling around on white sheets while you pay a stranger to take your photo. Kidding. But you get what I'm saying. 

I think at some point I may end up booking a session & get pampered for a day. I'm not sure what I would do with the photos afterwards or how I would hide them for years to come.

ox

OPM

Handcuffed Unbroken Sleep

I cannot be the only one who (normally) uses the same password in numerical variations  lol - anyhow I'm back online & surprised that I still have page views. Thanks for the commitment mommas.

The past few months have been a whirlwind. My child has finally self weaned, and has started sleeping 8+ consecutive hours a night. I am still holding my breath on this one, but just rolling with it! The first few nights I laid awake watching the monitor & catching up on the past week of PVRd shows - waiting for a whimper or a stir followed by a cry. I checked on babes maybe 4 times the first night, making sure air ways were clear & the temperate in the room was ok. But, nothing - not even a wiggle until 8am! I am starting to become accustomed to the unbroken sleep. 

 We also found out we are expecting late summer. I'm sure my free time will be consumed once baby #2 makes their appearance. Very excited.

I'm sure your newsfeed is filled with women who've seen 50 Shades of Grey. I'm not sure if I should be ashamed or afraid for the backlash, to say I could barely finish the first book. The thought of paying to see soft core porn in theatre with 60 other people does not appeal to me. I imagine it a lot like watching a movie with your parents & that 5 minute make out - love scene pops up. AWKward. I enjoy porn raunchy to the point & romance movies starring Gosling or Tatum. That's about it.

On that note, I'm heading back to watching the monitor & 3 weeks if The Bachelor 

ox

OPM

Shout Out to my Married Single Mothers

These past few days this week have been so long for me. We're doing house renos before christmas & the dust just seems never ending. Along with keeping a toddler & 120lb Lab out of the dust pan, it's a full time job to say the least.

We are fortunate enough that my husbands job can maintain our household alone. Mind you, he works a ridiculous schedule & the majority of the month. I resigned from my job & now my career of being a mom & making a home is starting to blossom. 

I get to see all sides of the coin from my girlfriends. I know strong independent single working moms, mommas with hubby's on 6/6 shift, mothers who live out of town & province, while their husband commutes to & from here for work. All of them have the same daily struggles. It's the moment a second person arrives, that really seems to helps lighten a load.... Enter the mom-luxuries again, hot coffee, hot shower, blow dried hair.. You get the point. 

 OK-so maybe not the minute my hubby walks through the door. But pretty close. I sit through supper, pretending to listen (most days) about the latest job & how long they had to wait on a permit to start work. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love hearing about his day & that family time we have at the table together.  But there are occasions I am day dreaming in the back of my head. Day dreaming about that bubble bath & my iPad & catching back up on some reading. Just to soak in peace & recharge for 30 minutes. 

My hat is off to you single moms who manage to survive & not go completely insane without any help. And to you moms with spouses that are away out of town for any length of time. Seriously the definition of a super momma. 

ox

OPM

Quit "liking" me!

It's been another busy week for me & my littlest side kick. We've recently joined swimming lessons. I have no clue what I was thinking when I signed up. Now I have to start shaving my legs again, I was so comfy and fury, man!

I thought it would be a great way to meet new moms and start having more play dates! (Mental note, new entry: "people I want to punch in the throat 2.0" moms who set up play dates) 

I've mentioned my love affair with Buy & Sell groups right? I frigging love it. Ended up *almost selling something to what seemed at the time a pretty sensible chick. We had a few mutual friends but the kind of mutual friends you don't really talk too & only have them on FB to creep. Or keep around to feel good about yourself. LMFAO. Oooh, as if I'm the only one! 

We ended up making some short mom talk about the tradeshow in town & the Duggard marathon that seemed to take over both our weekends. It was nice have someone to BS with on a Sunday afternoon while Skip napped. Then that evening was the end of our communications. I think a week or more went by then I started getting messages from her again "OMG that dress you posted is beautiful I wish I was smaller I would so buy it. Could be a mini you! Hehe" ahhh - wtf Buffalo Bill? Started liking every comment or question I would post. Really made me anxious & triple check my privacy settings.

I would like to give a shout out to Facebook for really screwing with us and sending read receipts now. Thank you, buttholes.

Then the day came,.. I got a friend request. Nope. * DECLINE * BLOCK * DELETE * FILE RESTRAINING ORDER *

I am all for making new friends. I love meeting new people and learning their stories actually. Just not when they come across as creepy as F & seem to online stalk me. 

Really hope Im not making any new moms nervous about meeting friends online. I mean, I totally understand how hard it is here in town to meet friends. Especially when you're a stay at home mom. There's just other ways of going about it. Maybe if there was a POF or match.com for mothers?

Ladies, we need rules for new mommy friend searching. 

DOs

★ I would think the biggest would be to actually get out - go to a program at The Hub, or Children's Centre. Something organized by a third party so you don't need to feel pressured to stay if you become overwhelmed and want to leave. Oh hey, start swimming lessons ;) 

★ Join a mommy interest page! So much more fun to be surrounded by like minded momma. There are a lot of local FB groups & pages in town. It's actually surprising how many pages FMM has if you actually searched. Join a page or group, share stories. At the very least you'll have someone to chat with online during the day while you should be cleaning while your tyrant sleeps. 

DON'Ts

★ It's bound to happen, so try to avoid at all cos. Mompetition" ever see those Kristen Wigg sketchs from SNL? Same idea, avoid being Penelope!! Do not join in on the competition.

★ ★ ★ Lastly, don't gossip. It just makes for bad vibes. Unless it's about Kim Kardashian or the latest TMZ breaking news, keep it to yourself sweetie.  

So, like send me a friend request and we'll set up a play date ;) 

Vomit * I'm becoming one of those moms.

ox

OPM 

OMG 4 mutual friends - let's check this one out

Since I became pregnant I became very involved in social media. I've always been on Twitter & Facebook actively, just with friends never pages or groups. 

A few of my other pregnant and new mom friends  had told me about a couple local buy & sell groups, enter my addiction. "Helpful" Mommy pages & the world of buy sell & trades. It's ridiculous. 

I think I'm apart of every BSOT page in Northern AB, some parts of Saskatewan & all of Newfoundland. Every other day I find my self tagging friends who mentioned looking for a baby swing, uncles looking for trap lines, or my sister looking for wedding reception decorations.

As my son grew, and slowly started taking over our living room (now the whole house) I figured I would have a go at it and post some items for sale! What an amazing way to get rid of crap. Well not crap but you know. It was like having a yard sale only 1/8th of the effort!! Few days went by I made a couple hundred bucks selling boxes of baby clothes and other items.

No judging mommas!!

Now, I know I'm not the only one who does this so don't even say "omg, haha you creep!".  I totally went into everyone's  profile who commented or "pleased" my items. You know, to see what their deal was.  If I got the idea that she was a single mom I would take whatever she asked & sometimes add in a couple extra outfits or a box of diapers that my son grew out of. That only happened once or twice. 

After the few newborn items sold, I quit posting. I am not the best at asking money for things - I never know what to ask for it! Or I grow a odd sentimental bond with the item. "OMG no I can't get rid of this shirt, he wore this one when we flew home in Toronto Airport that time." Ugh. Really think I'm boarderline hoarder. There's that, then there's the fact I couldn't handle the women haggling to pay $5 cheaper for something. 

That's my "momma confession" for this evening then ladies. If you've pleased an item someone was selling or you've posted something on a mommy group that received a bunch of hits, you can rest assured that you've been creeped by every single person who saw it. Make sure you have your privacy settings on - or don't. ;) Us late night moms of teething toddlers need some entertainment you know! 

ox

OPM