Momsomnia | the do's & don'ts of sleep depravation

Ever get a brilliant idea late at night and just go with it? While doing my late night clean up & watching reruns of Keeping Up With The Kardashians  it dawned on my that I should totally get a spray tan for halloween. Those of you who know me know exactly how this pretty much always pans out. Yet, like a cat, I keep going back. With hopes of "this time is different". 

I don't know what it is, but every show I watch (mainly SLICE or E) I get the urge to buy a tonne of fake lashes, rock a smokey eye & get a spray tan. I can't be the only one? 

So as I'm cleaning the fish bowl. WHICH is a whole other story on it's own. Side note, don't ever let someone  buy your child a beta. Who knew such a tiny fish could crap so much! We're going on a month with the little guy and I swear I've had to clean the bowl 78 times! < give or take ;) > So I'm scrubbing this beta gunk out of these colorful rocks, and I remember I have some self tanner left over from my BILs wedding this summer. Awesome. Straighten the little crap machine out back in his bowl again in hopes tomorrow morning he'll be floating on top and I headed to the bathroom.

11pm, the house is cleaned, hubby and baby are sound asleep none the wiser of what is about to go down. Why not crack a bottle of wine and enjoy a bubble bath. A good exfoliate before Operation: Hollywood Scarlett. 

I've read the labels and no where on these bottles do they state "do not apply after shave". 

So I'm all sprayed and admiring my mom-on-a-budget self tan at home. Wondering how long it'll last for this time. Then I hear it, I hear my child stir in his bed. 20 more minutes God that's al I'm asking for 20 mins of drying time. Newp. Nope. Nodda.not happening. He is now standing in his crib looking around almost fully awake. Being the self proclaimed Mommy McGuyver that I am - I began to dry myself with the hair dryer hoping he would just settle himself again and the world would be at peace.

 It was working! He plopped back on his tummy and settled in for the rest of the night. Until I dropped the hair dryer in the sink and the dog lost his marbles. We are fairly certain our dog is a meth head reincarnated as a Black Lab,... so paranoid. 

So, I just got in bed after rocking our child to sleep. Now I am praying to the Self Tanner Gods that the hair dryer thing worked & that my offspring will not have half a head of orange in the morning. 

xo

OPM

Sexy Care Bear or Nurse?

It's that time of year again, halloween. What is better than dressing as whatever you like for one night without being judged & getting free kit kats?! Win win. I get so pumped every year to the next best cliché couples costume for my hubby & I to dawn. Isn't that an unwritten cardinal holiday rule? If you're in a relationship automatically he has to be the bacon to your egg or the Fred to your Wilma right? I remember being at the Newfie Club and poking so much fun at those couples and yet every year I end up coordinating our outfits. (* side note we do not coordinate our vacation shirts, just halloween costumes, there is still hope.)

So I'm pinning(duh), getting pumped  to hit up the local halloween store to see what I can come up with and blow $200 on. After spending 10mins finding somewhere to park I enter the doors with excitement and awe. 4mins in I realized in the back corner, 7ft up in the air, is where they decided to stash all the plus size costumes are. Lovely. As if I didn't already feel like I was being judged on my costume choice at the check out  now I get to ask the 17yo kid for a hook to get the slutty flight attendant costume down for me to size over.

Let's see - What do i have to pick from, a Greek Goddess, Viking or Freddie Kruger. Then the classics red riding hood, witch or indian. Sorry.  "pow wow princess" WTF lol not the least bit offensive. Long story short - I ended up grabbing the first one I grabbed & paired it up with something for the hubby and got out of there as fast as I arrived.

Fun fact. Did you know there are sexy care bear costumes? 

I plan on taking our little one out for an hour, I figure that should be long enough to yield a decent size chocolate stash for me until christmas. Then I'm  hitting an adult house party to flaunt my purchases and enjoy a sociable. OR maybe I'll just hand out candy, no make up and bra-less in jammies, the way the pagans meant for this holiday to be celebrated.

xo

OPM

NAILED IT!

So Pinterest has taken over my life lately. There's that. What's new with you doll faces?

I just spent 2.5 hours searching no carve pumpkin ideas and my hands are now coated in spray paint. My black glitter gourd could really be a "nailed it" hall of famer. 

I always enjoyed pinning, but even more now that I'm a mom. I started to actually read the links & not just post the cute picture lol. I've wanted to take up crochet & antique furniture restoration over the summer in result to my midnight pin sessions. I have yet to buy anything to aid with these gorgeous pinned ideas. 

My child recently turned one, the pressure to have an all handmade decorated party was heavy, thanks to the ol P. There seem to be a lot of crafty mommas here in town! If you have the time & enjoy it I think it is wonderful. Personally I love how it makes the day that much more important & special. Homemade birthday cakes are THE BEST. $240 fondants are way overrated IMO. It seems they are a must have staple for parties. I see every day moms posting on the FMMN FB page asking for recommendations on cake ladies. Girl break out the Bette Crocker and bread pan, get the babes involved and make a cake and memories. If it flops head to Sobeys & have a laugh.

ox

OPM