Momsomnia | the do's & don'ts of sleep depravation

Ever get a brilliant idea late at night and just go with it? While doing my late night clean up & watching reruns of Keeping Up With The Kardashians  it dawned on my that I should totally get a spray tan for halloween. Those of you who know me know exactly how this pretty much always pans out. Yet, like a cat, I keep going back. With hopes of "this time is different". 

I don't know what it is, but every show I watch (mainly SLICE or E) I get the urge to buy a tonne of fake lashes, rock a smokey eye & get a spray tan. I can't be the only one? 

So as I'm cleaning the fish bowl. WHICH is a whole other story on it's own. Side note, don't ever let someone  buy your child a beta. Who knew such a tiny fish could crap so much! We're going on a month with the little guy and I swear I've had to clean the bowl 78 times! < give or take ;) > So I'm scrubbing this beta gunk out of these colorful rocks, and I remember I have some self tanner left over from my BILs wedding this summer. Awesome. Straighten the little crap machine out back in his bowl again in hopes tomorrow morning he'll be floating on top and I headed to the bathroom.

11pm, the house is cleaned, hubby and baby are sound asleep none the wiser of what is about to go down. Why not crack a bottle of wine and enjoy a bubble bath. A good exfoliate before Operation: Hollywood Scarlett. 

I've read the labels and no where on these bottles do they state "do not apply after shave". 

So I'm all sprayed and admiring my mom-on-a-budget self tan at home. Wondering how long it'll last for this time. Then I hear it, I hear my child stir in his bed. 20 more minutes God that's al I'm asking for 20 mins of drying time. Newp. Nope. Nodda.not happening. He is now standing in his crib looking around almost fully awake. Being the self proclaimed Mommy McGuyver that I am - I began to dry myself with the hair dryer hoping he would just settle himself again and the world would be at peace.

 It was working! He plopped back on his tummy and settled in for the rest of the night. Until I dropped the hair dryer in the sink and the dog lost his marbles. We are fairly certain our dog is a meth head reincarnated as a Black Lab,... so paranoid. 

So, I just got in bed after rocking our child to sleep. Now I am praying to the Self Tanner Gods that the hair dryer thing worked & that my offspring will not have half a head of orange in the morning. 

xo

OPM