Do you remember the moment it hit you, that you were a mother?
I mean yes the whole hospital thing that was kind of a big reality check about becoming a parent. But I mean really hit home.
I went to get my eye brows done... The little sweet ol threading wizard of a lady said to me in a thick accent "you no more big bump - you loose weight" Dawl, why thank you Kim. I'm fat but that was baby fat I'm a mom. "<awkward laugh> I just had my son last month". Holy shit. I'm a mom. I have a son. OH MY GOD. I felt like I needed photos in my wallet to present. Instead I think I showed her half a album off my phone.
That was when it really got real for me. Actually saying the words, "my son" & it not being in the usual witty manner I was used to *Newfoundland Slang* was the beginning of me feeling like a mom.
When we had our family / Newborn photos done it struck me again. I was a ball of anxiety at the time. Truthfully, I was anxious with him out in public up until he was about 10months old and it finally left. I still get over come sometimes in public but I've learned to not be as paranoid. My gf had to persuade into actually going in the first place, which I am glad she did. We had a wonderful photographer, I went to middle school with her so i was a little more comfortable & laid back.
Started out mom + dad + baby, mom + baby, dad baby you get the idea. 15 minutes in my child starts to cry & my anxiety slowly starts to rise. I started to nurse him in hopes he was hungry & would peacefully and quickly fall asleep. Hoping she could capture some Ann Geades doll moment of my sweet angel. NEWP. Wasn't happening. 35mins in now. We had the heater on, I was feeding him, burping him, rocking. Even the photographer took a swing at burping and coddling, he was not interested in it.
Finally we gave up and decided to strip him down & grab a few cute bare bottom shots & swaddle him in a wrap propped up in a basket. We quickly found out why he wouldn't sleep. The photog swaddled him all cozy, propped him and his little legs in the basket, then it happened. Skipper took a big, dirty, wet newborn baby green, crap in this lady's expensive muslin wrap.
Husband laughed as he was urging walking out the door, photog laughed as she started to unswaddle him and go for wipes, and I sat there on my knees, white with embarrassment. It was at this time I had another "holy shit I'm a mom" moment. This is going to be a go to story for whenever he has a gf over and I want to embarrass him!.
I don't think I apologized enough or offered anyone so much money in all my life. I quickly put a fresh diaper on him and packed up to head home.
We ended up with a few 20 odd photos, she offered us to come back & reschedule. But there was no way in hell I was going to attempt that again. My gf who convinced me to go, haggled for me to go back but it wasn't happening.
Looking back, I do & do not regret not getting more newborn photos done of him. But there are only so many crochet hats, pillows & props you can use before it takes the attention off the child & just becomes tacky, in my humble opinion.
However, I am certainly making up for the professional photos now. Every holiday we've booked a "mini session". Even a milestone 6 month shoot equipped with a cupcake smash. All the while a professional grade camera & the 3 lens, I practically begged for a few christmas' ago, lay in my spare room collecting dust.
ox
OPM
No comments:
Post a Comment