I was never one much for following through with plans. Which is why I am not surprised why I ended up winging my birth plan and pretty much everything parenting related there on out!
From the time I announced I was pregnant I got bombed with questions & people expecting me to know the answer. " are you getting the epidural?" "will you bottle feed" "are you finding out what you're having?" & so on & so fourth. I admit I am guilty for asking a lot of these pre parenthood questions as well. Most of the time it was out of excitement for my friend & not based on me having an opinion on the subject. I didn't even know you had to burp an infant for crying out loud!
I formed my parenting opinions & ideas from watching my friends rear their kids. I thought I had the perfect plan on how I would raise mine one day. I would never nurse, that is so wrong & just nasty. Co sleep? That's what cribs are made for, babies. What a buzz kill a kid in the middle of you and your husband. Pfft yeah right. NOT happening. Well, I have become my own hypocrite these. So many more "no way"s I had thought out in my head, I am doing. You know why, because they work for me & my husband. Not because I read it somewhere, not because another mom told me.
The first night home on our own was the longest most frightening night ever. Mothers, aunts & friends offering advice on the do's & do nots of how to put an infant to sleep. "Don't start rocking him you'll never break him of it!" & "Oh my god no pacifier, he'll end up with buck teeth". Guess what, he fell asleep in the rocking chair while I forced him to suck on a nummy. OMG. I've scarred my child for life that's it - it's over he's going to turn to Maggie Simpson and forever be attached to his pacifier. Pfft. My son hates that piece of rubber, he has maybe taken it a handful of times since and probably only to chew on it while he's been teething. I still rock him but he's not dependant on it. I enjoy that time at he end of the night most evenings. Yes, I know most of you have a strict "no rock - no walk " sleep policy. My mother & grandmother being apart of that group.
All mommas have an opinion & most have no trouble letting you know. Some of the more loveable popular opinions I enjoy reading and being a by stander are the car seat, BF vs formula & immunization debates that happen at every single baby group/FB page/ & infant anything I happen to attend or be apart of. I am not one to voice concern of another momma bears cub - as hard as it is at times. I like to think of myself as having a laid back personality & the same laid back approach to people. You know a "whatever floats your boat" kind of thing. I only have to worry about my one & only. If your baby will self sooth and go to sleep on their own, kudos. What do you do with that awesome extra bit of "me time"? If your sweet little is dependant on a soothie & a plushie to get to sleep, that's freakin adorable. What's do they call their teddy? It's not hard ladies - just chill and encourage each other.
Enjoy your pregnancy, listen to everyone's advice. Research options, google, post on a mommy board for advice. Take everything with a grain of salt & really do what feels right and best for you and your child. Don't ever feel judged about doing something. I realize that's easier said than done but trust me here. Everyone's child has rolled walked or crawled off something, we've all felt like letting them cry for the 10mins it's going to take to get that much needed shower. I'm sure there's a long list more of common "i am the worse mom ever" activities.
We are all moms doing our best that we can & what works for our crazy families. Don't be so hard on yourself, you rock momma.
xo
OPM
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